They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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