I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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