He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
