I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
