Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
