Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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