I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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