I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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