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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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