I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
