It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
