Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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