she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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