I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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