been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
