Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
