making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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