1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wanna bring you to show and tell
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
