This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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