Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
