We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
