Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
