LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
