why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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