She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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