I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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