it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
