i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
