I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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