I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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