If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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