My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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