I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
