I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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