Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
