Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
