yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
