are you still at the devil's house?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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