Me too!
the condom got lost in my hair
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
