Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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