She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
