I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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