It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
