i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
