I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
