I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
