but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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