I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
