apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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