I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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