my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
