Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
