This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
