Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
